Week Thirteen

So far this is turning out be a big week for you.  We took your first long car trip to Tucson and we ate with you at a restaurant while down there.  You did so well!  I was so proud of you.  You mostly slept in the car, we only had to stop once on the way down to change your diaper and once on the way back to feed you.  You cried when your Uncle Alex held you and you are still not liking when anyone other than Mom or Dad holds you.  Standing is still a favorite game, but you have decided that you would like to be swaddled for naps again.  You had a bath where you did not scream your head off and maybe, kinda liked it.  I am trying so hard to soak up every moment this week since starting in 9 days I have to go to work again.

You have Auburn hair and greenish eyes this week.  I am not certain that either will stay, but it has been fun joking about the Irish baby that an Italian/Croatian and a German had!  I love how you try and talk to us while we are changing your diaper, which is still a favorite for you.  You feel so big and solid.

Week Twelve

Taking care of you is so time consuming that it is hard to find time to journal and blog about it!  This week has been big for changes.  You no longer want to be swaddled, you have started to fall asleep after nursing again which you haven't done for weeks.  You can hold your little hands together and love to practice standing.  We are reading books and you are focusing on the pictures.  The swing is not the big hit it was a few weeks back, but you LOVE the Ocean Sounds for Babies cd, and if it is playing in the car you are instantly quiet and usually fall asleep.  We have been doing tummy time daily, in the morning, in the library and our cat Flip is always there to monitor your progress.  You have been much easier and crying so much less it is amazing.  You are also getting SO tall.  I can't believe how big you are.  You love to practice standig even up on your tippy toes.  We have some adorable video of this.  Your Dad started his new job this week and we have had tons of Mommy and me time.  I love being with you so much and am completely dreading going back to work in September.  3 months is not enough time with you.

Your skin is doing so much better.  The Aveeno Baby Excema cream is helping so much.  Your baby shark skin as we called it is almost completely gone.  You are also now too big to use the pink tub from the hospital as a bath tub and we now will need to use the actual baby tub we have again.

Week Eleven

So we have finally started this journal of our baby's growth and development!  We will have to go back and fill in what we can remember from the first 10 whirlwind weeks of her life.  It has been amazing, but challenging and tiring.  I wish that I could remember every moment, but between fatigue and trying to keep up with her I know that precious moments are already fading into a vague rememberance.

This week had some major firsts.  Yesterday I took Rosabella to the grocery store by myself!  Mark had an orientation meeting for his new job and we were on our own for the entire morning.  It was a challenge for sure, but we are amazing women and rose to meet that challenge.  I had Rosabella in her bassinet while I showered, she only cried for the last 5 minutes, but was otherwise amused by her crib aquarium.  We then cuddled and I fed her, then swing time while I ate breakfast and got everything together for an outing: grocery list, printed out digital coupons, got the diaper bag all supplied.  Then off we went.

I had a plan, use the hard carrier and attach it to the cart that way I would have both hands free and I could maintain eye contact with Rosabella.  She did well for like 5 minutes, we had not even left the produce section when the complete meltdown started.  I had to take her out of the carrier and hold her in one arm, pushing/driving the cart with one hand and then nudging it with my left foot.  Thankfully this arrangement worked for the little Princess and she was happy to people watch and act cute.  The funny thing was when I was going down the canned vegetable aisle there was another mom with a baby (hers was maybe 5 or 6 months old), her hard carrier also empty in her cart, her baby in her arms.  We both got some strange looks from people who expect babies to silently sleep in their carriers.  As I passed her I told her "You don't need two arms to grocery shop" and she said "Yeah you need eight"!  We both laughed and went on with our shopping.

It was a Mom moment, I was now a member of the Mom nation.  It felt good, it felt right.

Miss Rosabella has been cooing more this week, getting stronger with her neck, but also has been having a good deal of fussy time.  I think that she may be having a mini growth spurt.  We have started reading books to her which she seems to enjoy.  I am so excited to see what next week brings!

Week Ten

You are so incredibly adorable this week.  Wearing new outfits and looking like the 3 month old charmer that you are.  We also started using a new nursing pillow that is less cumbersome than the Brest Friend and you really seem to love that too.  Our lives are so different now than this time last year, or really any time, and that is so fantastic.  Watching you grow and develop has been the most amazing adventure ever.  There is nothing in my life that I have done that is anywhere near as important to me as being the best Mom I can to you.

Week Nine

We had a grown up dinner party this week, with guests and everything!  Your Dad was needing adult companionship and to eat at the dinner table.  We had over Larry and Margaret Woodson and Emilie and Eric Keller.  You were so good.  You were sleeping when the guests arrived and then slept right on through dinner giving your Mommy a chance to eat with the grown ups too.  We also had Marissa Norman and her kids visit this week, they brought you a comfort bunny for when you get sick.  You are getting so strong and holding up your head so well.  Co-sleeping is still awesome, we all get a good nights rest and you can nurse all night long, but best of all I wake up to your sweet, sunny face every day!

Week Eight

This week continued our quest to find things that distract you from crying.  We discovered that you love being outside in the heat!  We would sit with you on the back porch for hours, and we would sweat, since even in the shade it was hot.  You loved it.  I called it going to look at plants.  It would calm you when nothing else would.  You have short periods of happiness when you are so adorable.  You love the early morning to coo and smile and play.  We just love you more and more each day.

Week Seven

You were so expressive and so CRANKY this week.  We tried baby wearing with limited success.  As long as we were on an outing you loved both of you carriers, but as soon as we would enter the house you would start to scream.  You loved going for walks, but it was so hot it was hard to find a good time to take you.  You Dad discovered a way to calm you down where you would start by sitting on his right knee facing his left knee and you would slowly droop over until you were laying down on his left leg.  You really liked going to sleep like this.  I called the Droopy Baby technique.  Unfortunately we would get you to sleep, but then if we tried to move you, you woke up.  So we spent a lot of time watching television with you sleeping on our laps.  Thank god for Netflix!  Our lives revolved around feeding you and getting you to sleep.  We had a visit from Dan and Melissa and River.  River gave you some stuffed animals (a Bulldog and Bulldog puppy) that Melissa and Dan got for him before he was even adopted.  It was a special present.  He really seemed to love you even though you screamed a good portion of the time they were here.  River drew us a picture of our family while he was here, very sweet.  You are such a blessing to our lives and even when you are fussy we just love you so much!

Week Six

Okay this was a hard week.  The growth spurt was over, but you were crying like crazy and nursing did not help, at all.  Frantic reading revealed that this was normal, babies hit a peak of crying around 6 weeks and it slowly decreases until 12 weeks.  Yikes, we thought we had the easiest baby ever, but we had a normal baby.  You completely forgot how to nap, you would refuse to nurse, have a dry diaper and be yawning and screaming.  We rocked you, and bounced you and sang and stood on our heads, nothing helped.  I tried nursing you side lying during the day and I got you to nap... once.  It was brutal.  We tried baby wearing, if we were out at the store you loved it, but in the house forget about it, non-stop screaming.  Sometimes we just gave up, Margaret Woodson came over to visit one day and found your Dad napping and you in your bassinet screaming in the living room while I sat on the couch staring off into space.  It had only been like that for 10 minutes, but I felt like a zero as a mother at that moment.  She took over that day and hummed and rocked and swaddled you to sleep, in your crib no less.  We tried her techniques to no avail.  In desperation I bought the "Happiest Baby on the Block" video as an amazon instant download.   Your Dad was napping again and you were screaming and I was in tears.  I watched about half of the video and tried the techniques and got you to sleep.  It took a while and did not last long, but I felt like I was on to something that could work.  You Dad was so mad that I spent $10 on a instant download, but he watched, learned the techniques and became awesome at getting you to sleep.  He now says that it was worth every penny.  We had a plan of action and I focused on the happy, sunny, funny baby moments, because even on your worst day you had plenty of those.  I also knew that things would be getting better we just had to hold on for another 6 weeks.

Week Five

This week was the beginning of a growth spurt.  I felt prepared, my milk was in and we could handle this.  You were crying a lot, but I would nurse you and then you would settle.  It was hard, but doable.  I could finally start to dress you in the 0-3 month clothing without you looking like you were drowning in cloth.  We were getting good sleep at night, nighttime nursing was going great (the side laying position is awesome), it was so much fun.  I just love being your Mom.

Week Four

This was a huge and really fun week!  You were eating like a champ, we were supplementing with formula maybe an ounce every other day.  You met your Nonno (Grandpa) Joe and you got baptized.  You slept so soundly during your baptism that you did not even make a peep when your little head got doused with water.  I made your Baptism cake - sour cream white cake with whipped cream frosting and fresh strawberries.  It was such a great day.  You met your Uncle David, who wanted to steal you and pack you in his suit case.

Your Dad and I felt like we finally had this baby thing down.  You were always eating or sleeping, with very brief periods of awake alertness.  Little did we know that this was the calm before the storm.  You smiled you first real smile and learned to get your little hands into your mouth.  We spent ridiculous amounts of time trying to get a photo of you smiling, but completely by accident we have video of you sucking your thumb for the first time.  

Week Three

This week is already fuzzy in my mind.  I know that you finally broke 7 lbs again and we were told that we no longer needed to supplement with formula, but we were so scared that you would backslide we just decreased your supplementation from 10-12 ounces per day to 4 ounces.  We had another weigh in  5 days later and you still gained, after that we only gave you formula if you seemed fussy after breastfeeding or had really dry diapers.  I hardly took any pictures of you this week, perhaps I felt I had exceeded the number of sleeping baby pictures :)  You were smiling in your sleep and we were all sleeping better.  It was a good time, less stressful and we were finally feeling that we were getting the hang of this baby thing.

I also decided that for my sanity I NEEDED to get out of the house.  Sitting on the couch was not working for me.  So we started going somewhere once daily, sometimes just a drive while you Dad did some shopping.  I know that this is not what your pediatrician wanted, but I was losing my mind.  You still hate the car seat, but you like going places and I felt so much more human.

Week Two

Breast feeding was still the major challenge this week.  Since starting the supplementation with formula you gained 5 ounces, but we still had to see the pediatrician every 3-4 days.  We met with Doris Christiansen, a lactation consultant, and things got SO much better.  She discovered that you were getting too worked up to latch properly and so we had to swaddle you to get you calm and then you would latch and feed really well.  It was annoying to have you swaddled so much, but it helped immensely with feeding.  I really wanted you off formula, it made me feel so broken as a mother to have to feed you that, so we stopped and I just made a commitment to feed you every time you cried.  I was feeding you hourly a few days.  I was so proud of our progress, but then we had a pediatrician appointment and your weight was still only 6 lbs 15 ounces.  He recommended that we give you one ounce of formula after every breast feeding session.  I felt so deflated, like my body was failing you as a mother.  Doris said not to worry and not to feed formula, that some babies just grow more slowly than others.  It was a very confusing and stressful time.  Your Dad made the decision to supplement and so we did.   He loved feeding you bottles!  It made me sad, but he felt so connected to you.  We saw red devil baby less and less.

Our air conditioning went out when you were 12 days old, the day your Grandpa Jeff came up.  We had to camp in the art studio that night, and you never slept so well.  we have some pictures of that day, thankfully the problem was a minor electrical one and it was fixed quickly.    We were still having to set alarms to wake you up every 3 hours during the night to feed you and every 2 hours during the day.  I was keeping extensive records about every time you breastfed, had a bottle, when we changed a wet diaper and the few times you had a soiled diaper.  You really started to have wet diapers once we started the formula supplementation plus breast feeding, the ones we called wet before were barely damp compared to you current output and we had to change how we were folding your diapers since you actually started to have more regular bowel movements.  You Dad joked that we had no idea what a wet diaper was, how clueless were we!  We have lots of pictures of you sleeping, which other than crying and eating was pretty much all you did.  All the animals were fascinated by you and we have pictures of Lakota licking your head, she did that when you cried.  It was so cute she would get this concerned look on her face and then run over to lick you head!

I was so worried about your weight and trying to stem the panic, but I also was more confident that you would be alive when I woke up.  I'll be honest I was glad when this week was over.  I knew that I would miss your being this little, but having you diagnosed as failure to thrive or inappropriate weight gain was so stressful.  I needed you to be okay, better than okay.  The placenta pills that I was taking did really seem to even out my mood and I was less emotional and frantic than last week, but worried like crazy.  Looking at pictures of you from this week, you are so little and adorable and the memories of the worry and the stress fade away.  You are so amazing and I am so proud to be you Mama.

Week One

This week is honestly just a blur.  We were so terrified of everything.  While in the hospital we got such good feedback about our nursing, but the wheels kind of came off as soon as we got home.  We called Jodi at soon as we got home because you felt warm and I thought you had a fever.  You had a normal temperature for an infant of 99.5.  Your Dad would not let anyone change your diapers, but him.  We tried to use the bassinet in the hospital and the one at home, but you would scream as soon as we put you down.  So we did not put you down, at all.  You slept cuddled against me on a pillow on our bed, or on your Dad's chest.  I was so emotional, crying frequently and so worried that you were going to stop breathing.  You looked so much like your sister I would envision you dead.  Aunt Kim came to help take care of you and us, but it did not work out the way I thought it would.  I was snappy to her and your Dad.  I hated to be left alone and just felt overwhelmed.

You were crying all the time.  Feeding you was a nightmare, my nipples were bleeding and so painful.  You would not open your mouth wide enough to get a good latch and then when you were really screaming and I could get the nipple in you would not even try to eat.  When we did finally get a latch it was so painful I would cry and swear.  We called you red devil baby during these episodes.  It was not the womanly art I was expecting.  I was hyper sensitive to even perceived criticism.  Kim was trying to help, but I was just over loaded with what people were telling me.  I also had to wake you up to try and eat, when you finally fell asleep after 2 hours I would try to wake you up to eat.  I was so exhausted.

We took you to the doctor and found that you had lost 14% of your birth weight.  I was so worried that you were dying, that my body was failing you.  We were given samples of formula at the doctor.  I felt like such a failure feeding them to you, but you were so happy to get a good meal, you sucked down a 2 oz bottle and then stopped crying and slept.  I  stopped breastfeeding for a few days, I was pumping some, but not getting enough milk to feed you.  It was a real low point.

There was also unending joy this week.  You were here and perfect and although it was hard we were getting to learn how to be parents.  I gave you yours first bath at home.  On your 1 week birthday you had your newborn photo shoot.  You did so well and you were so amazing.  Those pictures touch me so deeply.  I wish that I could go back with what I know now and do this week over, but you survived and so did we.